Things I'm Not Allowed to Do
by Miguel .Florida. Jones-Rivers
Summary: As a state, I've got limitations on what I can and cannot do. Here are some things I can't do... Rated T for my dirty mouth :3
1. Chapter 1

**A List of Things I'm NOT Allowed to Do ****(with reasons!)**

**Miguel "Florida" Jones-Rivers**

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**1. Bug the living shit out of California by screaming the song "California Gurls" in his ear.**

Well... There was this one Summit meeting where us states got to come and California was being his usual "OMG, I'M LIEK TTLY AWSUM!" self. I had heard from Arizona that he hated the song "California Gurls" for the simple fact that he wasn't mentioned in it. So I (being the total bitch that I am) started screaming it in his ear and we started fighting. We ended up breaking the meeting table in the middle of our dad's speech.

**2. Make rude unnecessary comments about other languages.**

We're at a Summit meeting (by the way, these will all be set at Summit meetings) and Texas and I were talking about some of the other nations and I thought: Hey, girl, hey. These people have some weird ass languages. So it went a little something like this:

"What the hell is up with German? It's sounds like you're hocking a loogey every other word!" (Insert angry Ludwig and Gilbert glares.)

"Okay, why is it that every Italian has to add un-needed emphasis on EVERY OTHER SYLLABLE?" (Insert angry Italy twins glare.)

"Since when has it been okay to have z's with accents on top of them and barely any vows to make up a language!" (Insert angry, like, Poland glare.)

And so on and so forth until I get my ass handed to me (on behalf of everyone) by Russia and his pipe.

**3. Introduce Prussia to anything involving the word awesome.**

I showed him the song "I'm Awesome" by Spose and he ended up belting it at every chance he could. I think that serves as plenty enough reason.

**4. Force feed Austria something other than Classical.**

Me, being the musical endeavorer that I am, decided I'd glue my iPod headphones into Austria's ears and play a continuous loop of every Britney Spears song ever made. It was hilarious afterward. He'd bump into something and be like: "Oops, I did it again, I played with your heart, got lost in the game. Oh baby, baby, oops you think I'm in love, like I was sent from above. I'm not that innocent!" Hungary then went all frying pan crazy and demanded I compensate her with hard yaoi. -_-"

**5. Proclaim to Sealand that if he drank orange juice he'd be a recognized nation.**

I have to say that this has to be one of my favorites. So, I go up to Sealand and he's all in his "recognize me!" mood. So I say to him:

"Hey, Sealand, I thought I'd let you in on a little secret. To be a recognized nation, all you gotta do is drink a bunch of orange juice."

For the entire week he'd be on England's case yelling: "BUY ME ORANGE JUICE!" like a rabid dog.

England soon found out and beat me himself.

Good times, good times...

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**Quick second here. It's only gonna be five a chapter and there will be 10 chapters which equals fifty reasons. :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**A List of Things I'm NOT Allowed to Do ****(with reasons!)**

**Miguel "Florida" Jones-Rivers**

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**6. Scream Cuban analogies and sayings at Dad.**

My dad, as we all know, is not very fond of Cuba and me, being Florida, have a shitload of Cubans on my land so I'm pretty familiar with their analogies and sayings. I decided to yell some at him (resulting in Cuba laughing so hard he fell out of his chair and got a concussion. o.o).

"_Oye, aqui se acaba el cookie! Te pregunte por un cookie con chocolate chip y me das mierda!_" (1)

"_Que vola con tu cake, acere?_" (2)

"_Mira, shoo-shoo poo-poo, aqui no pintas ni mierda!_" (3)

"_Esto no me da ni papa! Ni papita me da! Mueve te las nalgas_, _broder!_" (4)

**7. Converse loudly about Russia's escapades with a Mexican woman named Chola.**

Basically, I made up a wonderful little story about Russia being a cheap whore for 20 bucks and a ride in an AMC Pacer from some Mexican lady named Chola that had more facial hair than he did.

-manually rolls down window-

"Hey, babe, I've got half-a-tank and twenty bucks, wanna come get a Happy Meal with me?"

-car starts bouncing-

"You gots hydrolics on dis?"

"Nope, the suspensions just shot."

The gossip was so worth the ass-whooping I got.

**8. Run around in circles screaming "AHH I'M GETTING RAPED BY CUBA!"**

Throw Dad in the mix and watch the explosion.

**9. Initiate a game of "The Floor is Lava!" and jump on Belarus.**

Well, the thing was that I was deathly bored and so I thought a game of "The Floor is Lava!" would be a good solution to end it. So I yelled: "THE FLOOR IS LAVA!" And jumped on Belarus. She turned to me with creepy "I'm gonna kill you then marry Ivan." look. Russia ended up having to disarm an entire kitchen cutlery set from her, and make sure she didn't stab me.

**10. Get Alaska to help tag the side of the Summit building. **

Alaska and I decided to tag the side of the Summit building with a rather... nice message.

(It was an arrow pointing to the door announcing: GAY BAR THIS WAY!)

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**1. Hey, the cookie ends here! I asked for a cookie with chocolate chip and you give me crap!**

**2. What up with your cake, dude?**

**3. Look, fancy pants, you don't paint shit here.**

**4. This don't give me potatoes! Not even french fries this gives me! Move your ass, bro!**


End file.
